LOVE AND LINGER ON VICTORIA CRUISE

We've been treating ourselves amongst the retired, beautiful waitresses, amazing mountains, amazing gorges, amazing shows and last, but not least: great SHIPLOCKS! Such a scenery!
It all started when we arrived in the bus that would take us to the cruise two hours late! Out taxi had the drive behind the bus and pull it to the side to get us on it. As we stumbled our way down the bus isle with our skateboard and our basketball we got laughed upon! It turned out that the bus was filled with retired Danish people who had been waiting for us. But they where all laughing, and even though we felt stupid we couldn't help but to laugh, it was such a funny situation!
The week was spent eating insane amounts of delicious food, including fried lotus, which was so good! Much better than french fries! We also saw amazing shows, performed by the beautiful, funny, charming and talented Victoria Cruise crew. We went for many guided trips with our Danish friends, including: The Yellow Mountains, The Ghost City in Feng Du, some villages, WuHan, tombs, Nanjing market and a temple and of course to the huge dam with the huge shiplock!
We also spent hours watching the beautiful scenery from our balcony and went for a little day trip to the beautiful three gorges.
It all ended with a brilliant Cabaret and everyone dancing the Macarena! What a treat!

SHANGHAI MY HEART

It is sooo populare to steal in Shanghai. They stole our pineapple, our vegetable juice and Andrea's pillow! Let us give you a reconstruction of the pillow theft:
Mira and Andrea is entering the dorm after a long drunk evening for Mira, and a long watching Mira being drunk evening for Andrea on antibiotics. They are happy and giggly, but nevertheless ready for bed. A: Wow, it's gonna be soo good to sleep.
M: Umhum.
A: But shit, where's my pillow at?
M: What? Is ya pilla out of ya beeed? Say WHAT?
A: Yes, I wonder where it can be.
M: Shit! The Chinese woman in the bed under you has two pillows! One under her head and one up against the wall. She stole your pillow Andriz!
A: Oh shit. Whatta biatch! What should I do?
M: Ask the bitch to hand it back, bitch!
A: Excuse me lady, may I please get my pillow back?
Chinese woman wakes up.
C: I don't know.
A: You have my pillow, can I please get it back?
C: I don't care.
Mira and Andrea break out in immense laughter, also called laettiz.

Other than that Shanghai was filled with stupid, political, contemporary art and beautiful factories/storage buildings in which they placed their stupid, political, contemporary art. It was also a shopping paradise, even better than stated in The Lonely Planet. Mira changed her style completely and Andrea got back to her hot dykeness.
Such a nice holiday! Enjoy the pics.

HOLY COW IT'S HOLI FASHION

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE LONER

We thought that Mira was a popular girl. We were wrong. Six best friends, one grandmother, a handful of aunts and uncles ++ all forgot, or just didn't care about, Mira's big 20th birthday.. Even Taj Mahal was closed on her big day. We celebrated with a fat hotel man who bought her flowers and a cake. Then we acted all tired and went to bed at 9pm. This morning we got up at 5:30 to see the wonderful sunrise at the worlds most fabulous and fashionable monument of love, Taj Mahal.

If you were one of the forgetters, don't worry, you're all forgiven! No hard feelings. HAHA

CHICKS ON SPEED

That's right! You heard us! Buy us some leather pants and we'll be speeding YOUR bike next!

Neither of us have ever driven anything with a motor before. The other day we decided that Indian roads and Indian traffic would be the perfect place to start! Responsible as we are, we rented helmets with our retro dinosaur scooters.
We put our asses into it, and hell yeah, we LOVED it! mmmhm

Mira crashed into a fruit kiosk in extreme speed. It was totally hilarious, Andrea simply couldn't stop laughing. Mira laughed as well, so did all the spectators. And people, no need to worry, the local doctor fixed her in a minute!

After a sweet day on the bikes, we hurried of to the local swimming pool. Andrea picked the lucky straw and got to use the fabulous India Cricket cap.

Now we're even more tanned and sexy. If that's not high fashion, we don't know what is!

By the way, this is all in Pushkar, hippieville.

DA DA DA DA DA CAMEL SAFARI

Yes yes boys and girls! We've done it again, we've rocked the desert with some haute couture. A grr. Have you ever seen Prada on a camel maybe?? Nohohoo.. Don't think so.

We spent two days and one night in samsam desert. We were so close to the Pakistani border that the time on our watches CHANGED!!!!!!!!! We learned to slap chapati into the right shape, and enjoyed some nice meals prepared for us by the locals.

We rode until our asses got sore, and except for a Indian hard-on in the back on the camel, it was such a successful safari!

Andrea rode a very horny camel called Raju. She constantly had to slap him for trying to lick all the other camels in the ass.
Mira rode a very ugly camel called John. He was very nice.

YOU JUST DO YOUR BEST, GANEESHA DO THE REST

Lord oh lord. We loove drama. Drama loove we.
We`re now in Udaipur, the fairytale city of palaces and illegal consumption of alchohol. We`ve been living in the hotel of Mr. Hanuman. And eating and hanging out at Mr. Vicky`s restaurant. What we didn`t know was that they are enemies. uuuaaaaa! Both sides have found out that we`ve been mixing with their enemies, and now we`re in the middle of their childish drama. But we are just chilling, with the other back packers. FEELS GOOD!
The other day, we went drinking with Mr. Vicky and his friend BlackFaceLongBeard and four other back packers. To get to the deserted temple in which we were gonna drink, we had to walk past Mr. Hanuman and his hotel. He was not hiding his disapproval of BlackFaceLongBeard and Mr.Vicky, but let us go with a warning "Be careful! They are the biggest players in town. If they see tourist girls they run after them".
We went anyway, and had a good time hanging out. Then (bapapabam) the police suddenly surrounded our little, cute hippie circle. They were obvously angry and talked angrily to Mr. Vicky and BlackFaceLongBeard in hindu. Then they arrested them, and left us travellers. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
BlackFaceLongBeard then called us, warned us to leave the scene and get rid of the alcohol.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
We left. Three police cars were carefully watching and scaring us as we left.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

We`re having a very funny and fashionable day.
We`ll be back with Andrea`s amazing make over. It`s truly amazing

now it`s open for everyone to comment. yes honey we`re so excited, sweating like we`re wearing your fat mother. oh that`s hot. oh that`s tremendous. oh

HELLO! DO YOU LIKE EYEBROWS AND HAIRCUTS? HELLO!

Hello hello, what`s in in India? SHIRTS. In many colours. For for the men of course. We especially like these four Bombayans on the Juhu beach in Bombay. Women seem to like saris.

















After rumbling our way away from Bombay, we hooked up with some old friends at the beach. Don`t we all look great? The beach fashion is laid back. So are we. We`ve spent our days at the Ganpatipule beach signing autographs and modeling for Indians who find white chicks very in.










We haven`t been away for that long, but already a lot has happened. Andrea has been suffering from puking, diarrhea, week stomach that simply can`t stand all that tikka. Mira has gotten a rash, an ear infection and has fallen in, and out of love with a beautiful Indian waiter.

We swam with huge crabs the other day. They were the size of our beloved Sahrish. In Ganpatipule, we`ve been chilling like no one knew possible. Long walks on the perfect beach, playfully throwing ourselves against the waves, beers in the sunset, sand in our cracks and joy in our eyes.

This morning we left the beach, now we`re in a chilled little town for the night. Tomorrow we`ll start a long jouney up to Rajastan, starting with some days in Jaipur.

What do you think about the Indian fashion?

BOLLYWOOD STARSPOTTING

I Mumbai, her hvor 55% lever i slummen har vi drukket paa regninga til de 50 menneskene som tilhorer (faktisk) den saakalte party-eliten. Vi har festet med Bollywoodstjerner som daglig er paa landets forstesider, og Indias Top Model og hennes allrighte franske kjareste. Ellers har vi sikret oss gratis rom i et palass i Jaipur, og en modell til aa vise aoss rundt i New Dehli. Kort sagt har vi ikke mott noen egentlige interessante mennesker, men de er veldig pene aa se paa. Vi har desverre ikke bilder, men for aa gjore det enkelt kler de seg omtrent som vi gjorde i aar 2000. Enten er de sent ute, eller veldig tidlig ute med retromoten. Dette skal vi undersoke naermere.

I morges snek vi oss ut fra vaare alkoholiserte, bortskjemte, kokainsniffende, 30-aarige drittunger av noen verter. Naa venter vi paa bussen, stikker til beachen noen dager tidligere enn planlagt.

Vi lover aa komme tilbake med fresh beach-mote, og masse bilder.

MASALA HICKUPS

After one day in India, Andrea already learned how to shit, and puke between her legs at the same time. Unfortunately we don`t have pictures, but we`ll try our best to explain her outfit. She was wearing a lovely peace of vintage clothing on her upper body. The motif was an old Apple logo. On her lower body she wore only a black brief with white seams.